It's all a matter of perception (and working your baggage)

‎"There are only two emotions that inform and animate the human animal; fear and a gratitude/awe/love mix that we might call agape. As the fear is processed out, agape comes in.‎
More accurately, the pure light of consciousness comes through us and is refracted through the prism of self. If the prism of self is cloudy and gray, contaminated with fear and ego, that's how we experience life. As the prism of self becomes clear, life becomes beautiful and magical. That's Human Adulthood. Enlightenment is the same except there's a final step. The prism of self is removed." Jed McKenna

I get scared sometimes...

I get freaking scared sometimes. That i'm going to die. That this is it; that my life has no meaning (and in the ultimate sense it doesn't, of course). That I won't get to HI, that I don't know how to do this thing called life (and death).
The fear is a gift, really, because I recognize it as such and use it to get to the bottom of what is really the truth of me that underlies the body/mind/ego. Danny is just a face in the clouds that forms for awhile, is visible and then is gone.

Every Attachment is Treasure

every discomfort, every attachment no matter how slight is a treasure if I can see it as such, observe myself and my feelings and my motivations from a place where I'm not actually down in the hole of emotions and discomfort and attachment. Oh look! "This is making me uncomfortable, I'm attached to this or that outcome. GREAT! An opportunity to explore." Some slight little snarkiness, some moderate physical pain, some almost imperceptible fear or sadness. That stuff is pure gold.

I give up control

everything seems to be in flux and is kinda confusing. I DON'T know what's going on, so back to, "I hereby give up any idea of being in control of anything. I have NO freaking clue about nothing and never did." There universe, I surrender. Why does that seem so difficult sometimes? Damn, the ego is pernicious.

Living in the present

If you are depressed, you're living in the past.
If you're anxious, you're living in the future.
If you're at peace, you're living in the present.

The Recent Past

A couple of stories from the yard sale. 1st, it was a HUGE enterprise involving weeks of going through stuff and sorting and boxing and then taking it over to the house where we were going to have the sale and storing the stuff in the basement. Then the day before or so, we posted a request for HELP! on fb and all kinds of people showed up with cars and trucks and tarps and tables and extension cords and muscle and helped us get the last of the stuff over there and carried the boxes and stuff out of the basement and set up tables and covered them with our stuff.
We had intended to spend two days setting up and having a private party and sale for our friends and then open it to the general public on Saturday and Sunday, but without even hanging any signs, people started stopping by and going through stuff and asking to buy it and we finally just entered the fray and started the free for all that was the next few days.
Every night six or eight friends would hang around and chat. I'd enumerate all the people who helped but I don't want to mess with anyone's privacy, but THANK YOU and you know who you are.
The yard sale was just a yard sale but the magic was incredible. I'll tell a few stories in the next posts.

The Present

We're in Raleigh, visiting P's mom until Monday or Tuesday, I don't know. It's lovely and quiet here 45 minutes north of Raleigh. Gray and kinda rainy today. My energy is ok though I've been sleeping a lot and laying around in between.
When in the Raleigh area, the thing to do is to sit on a rocking chair on the front porch with your feet up. Here I am practicing this aspect of the North Carolina culture.