First days in Hawaii

First days in Hawaii. Still not quite here. Sleeping, looking, listening. After weeks of doing "Am I attached to this, can I let that go?" Living in the world of STUFF so much more than living in a world that is integrated with both stuff and truth. Making the shift slowly.

James Baldwin

‎"Any REAL change implies the break up of the world as one has always known it, the loss of all that gave one identity, the end of safety. And at such a moment, unable to see and not daring to imagine what the future will now bring forth, one clings to what one knew, or thought one knew to what one possessed or dreamed that one possessed. Yet it is only when man is able, without bitterness or self pity, to surrender a dream she has long cherished, or a privilege she has long possessed, that he is set free-that he has set himself free--for higher dream, for greater priveleges. --James Baldwin

Real Change Implies the end of your world as you know it.

‎"Any REAL change implies the break up of the world as one has always known it, the loss of all that gave one identity, the end of safety. And at such a moment, unable to see and not daring to imagine what the future will now bring forth, one clings to what one knew, or thought one knew to what one possessed or dreamed that one possessed. Yet it is only when man is able, without bitterness or self pity, to surrender a dream she has long cherished, or a privilege she has long possessed, that he is set free-that he has set himself free--for higher dream, for greater priveleges. --James Baldwin

subtle resistance to reality

In Rupert Spira's interview on www.batgap.com, he talks about not only investigating the nature of separation (from god, or all that is or the divine or whatever) using thoughts and words, but investigating the nature of separation through feelings. I liked that idea.

I take it to mean examining how one feels about whatever one is doing. As in, "It's freaking cold outside! Ick!" or "Eeesh, I'm driving to work at my job that I don't like." Or it could be a much more subtle feeling of mild annoyance or worry or loneliness. “Darn, I forgot to brush my teeth and now I have to get out of bed again and I’m tired”

Any of these, of course, are a form of resistance to what is. Most of us (me for sure) are doing this often if not constantly. It’s not that we should try NOT to have these feelings. They arise as they will. Rejecting them or pretending that they’re not real is just another form of resistance to what is; another form of denial or separation.

I think what he’s driving at is just being aware of these feelings as they arise which of course requires quite a bit of focus and attention. The only work required is being aware and then examining them, looking at them fully to discover the underlying truth. “Yeah, it IS cold outside. It does that this time of year. It is what is occurring. I’m having a problem with reality why?” Not answering necessarily, just observing then maybe doing some quiet breathing and see what arises. Fun. Treasure! I’m recommitting to that today.

Here's a recent photo of my 'growth' btw. I've not posted one lately because I don't want to scare anyone, but that seems like denying reality or helping others deny reality. I'm doing a lot of work on it to make it get smaller and go away, some science based and some energetic. I'm also going to go see radiation doc on the 12th to see if I want to do some more radiation to shrink the thing some. Today it is not feeling very annoyed at all. No pain, not pushing, not angry, so that's all good.

I stated on my fb page that although it looks dramatically 'bad', I'd like people to see and hold the positive outcome and the healing as there's enough energy floating around that it I'm a short timer or some such vibe. So, help me out by seeing it healed. Thank you, loves. Peace be with you all today.

Quit rolling around in other peoples crap. if u must roll in crap, roll in ur own. you may end up transcending ur own crap but never able to transcend someone elses.

well, is it a dream? Doesn't it all disappear when you quit thinking about it? Like when you go to sleep, what becomes of THIS world? It no longer exists. It's an experience that you are having, it's important (just like in a dream) to show up and do your best and it seems to be recurring. You are in the same house when you wake up and the leftovers in the fridge are still there. Sleep dreaming is generally different than that. Fun to talk about.

Work your stuff and magic happens! AND it's cumulative! That doesn't mean there isn't more crap. How do you know there's more crap? cuz you're still alive here on the dirtball! If we could just realize that when we're stuck in crap that means that we're birthing magic.