How it be

It seems to be difficult to express to myself even, the feelings that I'm having as life continues to unfold. I'd say that I don't understand it, but it's pretty clear. It's more that the old habits of questioning everything are having some difficulty letting go. “Are you SURE this is ok and that's ok and that it's all going to be ok?” And the answer is frequently an obvious and instantaneous and emphatic yes, almost before the question is formulated. So then what is there for the old egoic fears to do? They have no job, no purpose anymore and they SO want to be involved even if they are no longer actually in control.

I'm very curious of course. “Gee, I wonder what's going to happen next? I wonder what this or that will look like, how it will unfold?”

There is very little I want. Do I want to sell the bus and get things done and get ready for Hawaii and go there? Do I want this experience or that experience? Do I want a drink or to be healed or some boon to appear? No, not really. The word 'want' is a poor characterization. It just so far to date seems to be unfolding in this very appropriate way. I'd say that it's perfection and in a way it is, but appropriate seems a better word. Things that we need just show up. Healing just happens. There isn't anything that I have to do, but it gets done and I know that my body and hands do things, but kind of without any volition on my part.

There is an ongoing deep gratitude of course. That's present.

String Theory

Yes, for sure, of course, allow everything to be as it is HOWEVER, make no compromise with being fully who you are regardless of cost or outcome. Nothing is sacred unless it serves your becoming. That which is not life affirming is life denying.

There clearly needs to be time for rest and recovery and for becoming accustomed to the new place you've reached, the new insights and powers you've gained when you hit a new plateau. But that downtime should be no no more than what's absolutely necessary before undertaking the next leg of the journey.

We want to become complacent maybe to rest long, to have some peace and downtime and quiet time, maybe even accept less so we don't have to face the next dragon, but for me, that's unacceptable.

When you're born, you're given this piece of string, a timeline that begins with your birth and stretches on into the future, but you don't know how far. For the average 1st world citizen, it's 70+ years. That means that some die in infancy, some die at 104, but no one is average. We pull the string, live out some days, never knowing when this pull will be the final pull. Like blowing out birthday candles and making a wish, what do we want to manifest in this next pull? Think carefully. Will you be satisfied with your choices if it's your last pull? Most of us just pull the string and see what happens. Like choosing door number 3. Could be disease or divorce or a new car.

Dreams that come true = diligent focused work + clear vision + nonattachment + gratitude.

"What I've dared, I've willed and what I've willed I will do. Ye can't swerve me! I'd strike the sun if it insulted me. Naughts an angle to the iron way. Truth hath no confines" Ahab, Moby Dick, Mellville.