Just back from doc

So in about 3 weeks or so the big left side (driver's side to all you car peeps) has about tripled in size. It wants action, my full attention. No fear in this now, seldom is because I recognize fear as some kinda future tripping activity. In this moment it's all fine. I don't feel any different. Still have the same symptoms to the same degree. Low energy, dizzyness, sometimes some nausea. I got some blood drawn but those tests have never turned up anything interesting. I seem to be completely healthy in every other way.
Doc says prognosis is that either it could turn into an open wound and stay that way or obviously metastasize further to brain, lungs, liver, whatever. He had some suggestions about chasing after some IV alternative therapies (about 4k/month with nothing like a guarantee) or maybe find some radiation oncologist who'd be willing to just bombard that one spot and slow it down and make it smaller.
The cancer LOVES that kind of talk. Ooooh, let's all get into the death thing. After leaving the docs office and before the blood draw I sat in the car and shifted the energy in a dozen or so breaths.