Fear of Illness and Death

Besides being biologically wired for fear and also the experience of being brought up as a child in constant fear, I have the additional fear stimuli surrounding the effect that the cancer has on my body. There are many times when I feel sick or feel like something really bad is happening to my body. The mind and ego tend to freak out. 'We have to DO something about this NOW or we could DIE!' Adrenalin pumps into my system exacerbating this reaction. Within a few breaths I generally become aware that 'I' am doing all that I can to lessen the effects that are occurring in the moment. When I release the idea that there's something that I need to do, then there is just the experience of dizziness or nausea or the heart pounding or exhaustion or whatever is going on. It is the game we play here.

Sometimes, I just sit back and allow the mind and ego to freak out. The fear is still occurring but it isn't having any effect on my experience.