one goal

There is only one goal for me and why would I be interested in any other?
It is the goal of being completely in the flow, that doesn't mean that 'bad' things won't happen; that I'll be on the bed dizzy and nauseous or that I'll die in a car crash or robbed and beaten in a rest stop somewhere. I don't say these things because I'm morbid, but just as examples. And it doesn't mean that good things don't happen like transendent love making and ecstatic joyfulness.

Being in the flow isn't letting go of what is.
It is giving up control and identification with the limited version of reality which is self.
The incredible relief of realizing that the ego perspective is a very limited view of godhood, that it cannot reach that state and the relief of looking beyond the ego's viewpoint.

Everything else that I do, that happens is a tool for the repeated realization (because I seem to slip in and out of it) that I am a wave, looking for the ocean, while a part of the ocean.

There IS a great release, relief in the awareness that I have no control.
I am thistledown on the wind, blown where the wind will blow me.
You still have to clean the bathroom and brush your teeth and drive the bus in heavy traffic sometimes or figure out how you're going to pay the bills, but there's almost a humor in it, seeing the little ego mind doing it's thing.

So I minimize the amount of energy required to maintain self while still doing an impeccable job of it to the best of my ability, honoring god by appreciating what we have to work with, the body and the mind.

And I am compelled by the blowing wind to share this experience of life on earth with others, both those that can grok where I'm at and what's important to me (because they help fan the flames) and also those who can't, because they are still brother and sister waves. They are all part of who I am.

When i'm in fully 'released from control' mode, it doesn't feel like it's this magical place where i feel special or even particularly joyous.
That's kind of surprising to me. I kinda thought it would.
I do feel relieved but it feels pretty ordinary. I actually have to check in once in a while. 'does ego think it's in control in this now? No? Are you sure? Yes? Good. Thank you.'
Then I continue to do whatever I was doing.

We return you now to your regularly scheduled program. angst or joy, whichever you choose.